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Jokers
The Joker
Joke Count: 1231
Don't Honk At Birds
Joke:
To the lady who flipped me off when I honked at you, your phone probably isn't on top of your car anymore.
VOTE
Pensive Treat
Joke:
Which tree is the most pensive?
Punch Line
VOTE
Blind Mans Friends
Joke:
Why couldn't the blind man see his friends?
Punch Line
VOTE
Ghost Sailor Halloween Joke
Joke:
What do you get if you cross a ghost with a sailor?
Punch Line
VOTE
Elderly Newlyweds
Joke:
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?'" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently," she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - "Would that be one word or two?"
VOTE
What Does Gays Mean?
Joke:
I was watching TV, my son was in a chair behind me reading a book. He said "dad, what does gays mean?" I got nervous, I said, "well, you know how me and your mother loves each other, its the same thing but with two men." He said "oh, ok. What does penetrating gays mean." Looking confused I said read me the sentence. He read, "She stared at her husband with a penetrating gaze".....
VOTE
Telling Dad Jokes
Joke:
I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
VOTE
Politics At Thanksgiving
Joke:
Be sure to bring up politics during family Thanksgiving to save on Christmas gifts.
VOTE
Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #4
Joke:
Shut up. Sit your monkey ass down. Chill out. - President Camacho
VOTE
Two Irishmen Joke
Joke:
Two Irishmen saw the sign "Tree fellers wanted". The first Irishman said, "If Pat had been with us we'd have got that job."
VOTE
Tom The Turkey Joke
Joke:
Tom the turkey played baseball... Unfortunately, he hit a fowl ball!
VOTE
Sun Pun
Joke:
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
VOTE
Bon Jovi Joke
Joke:
Did you hear that Jon Bon Jovi is on a strict fruit diet?
Punch Line
VOTE
Clocks Go Back
Joke:
Oh no! Clocks go back on November 1st. and I can't remember where I bought mine from!
VOTE
Big Hole In Intersection
Joke:
Did you hear about the big hole at the intersection in town? Police are looking into it.
VOTE
Separation Of Classes
Joke:
I grew up poor, you think I'm scared of limited food & a two week lock in? We called that "the end of the month" growing up.
VOTE
Butterfly Dance Joke
Joke:
Why wouldn't they let the butterfly in to the dance?
Punch Line
VOTE
When I Win The Lottery Joke
Joke:
Bubba and Johnny Ray were sitting on the from porch when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by. "I'm gonna to that when I win the lottery," said Bubba. "Do What?" asked Johnny Ray. "Send my grass out to be mowed!"
VOTE
The Truth About Getting Old.
Joke:
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got lost on the way back, now I have no idea what is going on.
VOTE
Chicken Salad Joke
Joke:
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Punch Line
VOTE
What Part Of A Museum Has The Most Allergies?
Joke:
What part of a museum has the most allergies?
Punch Line
VOTE
A Cabbie Picks Up A Nun Joke
Joke:
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK," the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.
VOTE
Hispanic Friends
Joke:
I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Hispanic friends... It means a lot to them!
VOTE
Gardener Joke
Joke:
I had to fire the guy who cut my lawn... He just didn't cut it!
VOTE
Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke
Joke:
Two prawns were swimming around in the ocean. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area: Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn... He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again," Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian."
VOTE
Plato
Joke:
The Philosopher Plato once said... "I am the wisest man alive for I know one thing... and that one thing is that I know nothing." How did he know that? His wife told him.
VOTE
Tick Joke
Joke:
Why can't ticks keep a secret?
Punch Line
VOTE
I'm Not An Alcoholic
Joke:
I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
VOTE
Small Lizard Joke
Joke:
Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?
Punch Line
VOTE
Landscape Joke
Joke:
What is the funniest landscape?
Punch Line
VOTE
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Joke Categories
116
Adult Jokes
🔞
9
Airline Jokes
300
Animal Jokes
15
Baby Jokes
81
Bar & Drinking Jokes
100
Best Jokes
66
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9
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7
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13
Computer Jokes
5
Cross the Road Jokes
401
Dad Jokes
6
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56
Doctor Jokes
8
Dumb Criminals
53
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15
Entertainment Jokes
21
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11
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121
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133
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6
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118
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24
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4
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170
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10
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18
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7
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5
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10
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80
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6
Military Jokes
118
Misc Jokes
13
Money Jokes
23
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43
National Jokes
5
News Jokes
3
Office Jokes
78
One Liner Jokes
2
Pickup Jokes
4
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18
Pirate Jokes
22
Police Jokes
46
Political Jokes
77
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6
Programmer Jokes
234
Puns
11
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79
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58
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5
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31
School Jokes
29
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4
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32
Sport Jokes
17
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26
Teacher Jokes
23
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441
Word Play Jokes
63
Work Jokes
53
Yo Momma Jokes
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