The Joker

Question 1

Two Blonds Unlocking The Car

Two blonds are trying to unlock their car. The first blond tries to unlock it with a coat hanger. The second blond says, "Hurry up it's starting to rain and the top's down!"

Question 2

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don’t know, some dumb woman asking if the coast is clear."

Question 3

Fireman Joke

Little old lady calls the fire department, screams, come quick, my house is on fire! Man says, how do we get there? She says, don't y'all still have those big red trucks?

Question 4

Another COVID Joke

I went outside to check on my plants. I felt something cold and wet on my arm. I looked down and say a mosquito using a wet wipe before it bit me!

Question 5

Why Do You Still Carry A Comb?

I shaved my head when I started going bald years ago, but I still carry a comb... I just can’t part with it.

Question 6

What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?

What kind of key opens a haunted house?

Question 7

How To Make A Blonde Laugh

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Question 8

Wine Workout

Did you know that fourteen muscles are activated when you open a bottle of wine? Fitness is my passion.

Question 9

Good Signs

A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness, and a friend like me, well, that's a sign of good taste.

Question 10

Female Pharmacist

A man enters a pharmacy and quietly walks around for a minute or two, then finally approaches the lady behind the counter. "May I speak to the pharmacist, please?", he asks. The lady responds, "I am the pharmacist." The man asks if there is a male pharmacist, and the lady pharmacist responds, "No, but please don't be concerned, I have been a pharmacist, and my sister and I have owned this pharmacy, for many years, and there is nothing you could ask that would be embarrassing to us. "Well . . ", the man hesitantly says, "I have this problem . . . I have a perpetual erection, and I was wondering what you could give me for it." The pharmacist responds, "Let me discuss this with my sister, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." After a few minutes, the pharmacist returns and says, "My sister and I have given it much thought and have decided that the best we could do is $20,000 and half of the business."

Question 11

Santa Claus Pun

I never really believed in Santa, always was a rebel without a claus.

Question 12

Cold Book Joke

What did the cold book do?

Question 13

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

Question 14

Alexa Knows

"Alexa, where's my dad?" Alexa, "Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas." "Ha! Gotcha, my dad is sitting right next to me." Alexa, "Your mom's husband is sitting right next to you. Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas."

Question 15

So Many Stupid People

Seriously, I don't know when exactly that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people, but they apparently aren't coming back for them!

Question 16

Mindreaders

Here's a question for all you mindreader's out there.

Question 17

Midnight Snack

I woke up to drink some water in the middle of the night and I accidentally ate a whole pizza and cheesecake.

Question 18

Religious Right?

The religious right is neither.

Question 19

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

What do you call a group of lions marching in the savannah?

Question 20

One More Bad Decision

I'm pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I'll have the whole set.

Question 21

Organized Crime Joke

Son, "Dad, I'm considering a career in organized crime." Dad, "Government or private sector?"

Question 22

Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #3

So you're smart, huh? I thought your head would be bigger. - President Camacho

Question 23

Conspiracy Theorist Bar Joke

Two conspiracy theorist walk into a bar... Or do they.

Question 24

Why Is Z The Best Letter In The Alphabet Joke

Why is Z the best letter in the alphabet?

Question 25

Blonde Teacher

What did the blonde teacher do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

Question 26

A Blonde Covering Her Ears

What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

Question 27

Skeleton Go To School Joke

Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?

Question 28

Where Does Dracula Get His Hair Cut Joke

Where does Dracula get his hair cut?

Question 29

Drink Whiskey

Some very sad news. My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks.

Question 30

Ipad Thief Joke

The guy who stole my iPad... He should FaceTime!

The Joker

Two Blonds Unlocking The Car

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

Fireman Joke

Another COVID Joke

Why Do You Still Carry A Comb?

What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?

How To Make A Blonde Laugh

Wine Workout

Good Signs

Female Pharmacist

Santa Claus Pun

Cold Book Joke

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

Alexa Knows

So Many Stupid People

Mindreaders

Midnight Snack

Religious Right?

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

One More Bad Decision

Organized Crime Joke

Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #3

Conspiracy Theorist Bar Joke

Why Is Z The Best Letter In The Alphabet Joke

Blonde Teacher

A Blonde Covering Her Ears

Skeleton Go To School Joke

Where Does Dracula Get His Hair Cut Joke

Drink Whiskey

Ipad Thief Joke

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