The Joker

Joke: Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Joke: Seven days without a taco makes Juan weak!

Joke: Son, "Dad, I'm considering a career in organized crime." Dad, "Government or private sector?"

Joke: If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "In Jesus Name, Amen"

Joke: Two blonds are trying to unlock their car. The first blond tries to unlock it with a coat hanger. The second blond says, "Hurry up it's starting to rain and the top's down!"

Joke: A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday... At the club, the doorman says, "Hi Jim, how are you?" The wife asks, "How does he know you?" Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside the bartender says, "The usual, Jim?" Jim says to his wife, "Before you say anything, he's on the darts team." Next, a stripper says, "Hi Jim! Do you crave the special again?" The wife storms out dragon Jim with her and jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver says, "Hey Jimmy Boy, you picked up an ugly one this time!..." Jim's funeral is Sunday!

Joke: Two conspiracy theorist walk into a bar... Or do they.

Joke: Why is Z the best letter in the alphabet?

Joke: You know when it's time to cut back on you're wine intake when your doctor tells you, "Your blood type is Chardonn-A positive."

Joke: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Joke: A man enters a pharmacy and quietly walks around for a minute or two, then finally approaches the lady behind the counter. "May I speak to the pharmacist, please?", he asks. The lady responds, "I am the pharmacist." The man asks if there is a male pharmacist, and the lady pharmacist responds, "No, but please don't be concerned, I have been a pharmacist, and my sister and I have owned this pharmacy, for many years, and there is nothing you could ask that would be embarrassing to us. "Well . . ", the man hesitantly says, "I have this problem . . . I have a perpetual erection, and I was wondering what you could give me for it." The pharmacist responds, "Let me discuss this with my sister, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." After a few minutes, the pharmacist returns and says, "My sister and I have given it much thought and have decided that the best we could do is $20,000 and half of the business."

Joke: What did the cold book do?

Joke: I found $20 in a parking lot and thought to myself, What would Jesus do?

Joke: Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

Joke: Seriously, I don't know when exactly that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people, but they apparently aren't coming back for them!

Joke: Cornona Virus, it's an inside joke.

Joke: What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?

Joke: The guy who stole my iPad... He should FaceTime!

Joke: What stays in one corner but goes all over the US?

Joke: Why were the Indians here first?

Joke: I'm pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I'll have the whole set.

Joke: So you're smart, huh? I thought your head would be bigger. - President Camacho

Joke: A note from my wife. "Hey Sweetie, I'm at work. Dinner is on the stove, you only have to light it, the gas is already turned on. Love you XOXO!

Joke: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

Joke: A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness, and a friend like me, well, that's a sign of good taste.

Joke: Where does Dracula get his hair cut?

Joke: What's a monster's favorite play?

Joke: Some very sad news. My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks.

Joke: I woke up to drink some water in the middle of the night and I accidentally ate a whole pizza and cheesecake.

Joke: Not a single person asked me if I could run fast in my new shoes today. Being an adult is stupid!