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Jokers
The Joker
Joke Count: 1229
Run Fast In New Shoes Joke
Joke:
Not a single person asked me if I could run fast in my new shoes today. Being an adult is stupid!
VOTE
Right Or Wrong
Joke:
I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong!
VOTE
Taco Tuesday Joke
Joke:
Seven days without a taco makes Juan weak!
VOTE
Stuck In A Corner
Joke:
What stays in one corner but goes all over the US?
Punch Line
VOTE
Chimney Sweeps Joke
Joke:
When chimney sweeps dress in the morning, are they "Sooting up?"
VOTE
Weight Loss
Joke:
I bet you would be very motivated to lose weight if it went to somebody you didn't like.
VOTE
Whisper In Clas Joke
Joke:
Why can't you whisper in class?
Punch Line
VOTE
Gilligan Knew Better
Joke:
Even on Gilligan's Island they listened to the professor not the 'millionaire'.
VOTE
Airline Ticket Agent Joke
Joke:
Man to the ticket agent at the airport: "I'd like this bag to go to Cleveland and this bag to Tulsa. Ticket Agent: "I'm sorry sir, we can't do that. "Man to the ticket agent. "Why not, you did it last time?"
VOTE
Tennessee Babies Joke
Joke:
Deep In the backwoods of Tennessee, a man's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. Whoa there, said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor. Within a few minutes, he had delivered a third baby. "No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The man scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?
VOTE
Rich Rabbit Joke
Joke:
What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?
Punch Line
VOTE
Kidnapped By Mimes Joke
Joke:
I was kidnapped by mimes... They did unspeakable things to me.
VOTE
Popular Dance In 1776 Joke
Joke:
What was the most popular dance in 1776?
Punch Line
VOTE
Pregnant Bed Bug
Joke:
Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?
Punch Line
VOTE
Rabbi Circumcision Joke
Joke:
Do you hear about the Rabbi who didn't charge for circumcisions?
Punch Line
VOTE
Why Did The Cow Cross The Road Joke
Joke:
Why did the cow cross the road?
Punch Line
VOTE
Helping Out A Friend Joke
Joke:
My friend was down in the dumps the other day so I let her color the tattoo on the top of my arm. She just needed a shoulder to crayon.
VOTE
Mile Bath Pun
Joke:
A lady goes to her dermatologist and he tells her to take milk baths for her skin condition. She goes to the grocery store and when an employee asks her if she needs help she explains that she needs enough milk to take a bath. The employee asked her if she wants pasteurized and she replies "no up to my shoulders should be fine".
VOTE
What Is Draculas Favorite Fruit Joke
Joke:
What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
Punch Line
VOTE
Chef Jokes
Joke:
I am forever disappointed the Chef Boddy Flay didn't name his daughter Sue.
VOTE
Cow Friday Nights Joke
Joke:
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
Punch Line
VOTE
Umbrella Joke
Joke:
What should you do with all your spare umbrellas?
Punch Line
VOTE
Retirement
Joke:
How many days in a retiree's week? 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.
When is a retiree's bedtime? Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.
How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it might take all day.
What's the biggest gripe of retirees? There is not enough time to get everything done.
Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? The term comes with a 10% discount.
Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Tied shoes.
Why do retirees count pennies? They are the only ones who have the time.
What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? NUTS!
Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic, or garage? They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
What do retirees call a long lunch? Normal.
What is the best way to describe retirement? The never-ending Coffee Break.
What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. And, my very favorite...
What do you do all week? Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
VOTE
Tennis Joke
Joke:
I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend... Love meant nothing to her!
VOTE
A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke
Joke:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Hey." The horse replies, "Sure!"
VOTE
If It's Not... Don't
Joke:
If it's not yours, don't take it. If it's not true, don't say it. If it's not right, don't do it.
VOTE
No Fault Of Mine Joke
Joke:
Some people won't admit their faults. I would, if I had any.
VOTE
Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #5
Joke:
Chill, Scro, you do a kick-ass job and you get a full pardon. - President Camacho
VOTE
Funny Farm Animals Joke
Joke:
What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?
Punch Line
VOTE
Quitting Is Easy Joke
Joke:
Quitting Is Easy, It's Not Starting Again That's Hard.
VOTE
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Joke Categories
114
Adult Jokes
🔞
9
Airline Jokes
300
Animal Jokes
15
Baby Jokes
81
Bar & Drinking Jokes
100
Best Jokes
66
Blonde Jokes
9
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7
College Jokes
13
Computer Jokes
5
Cross the Road Jokes
400
Dad Jokes
6
Dentist Jokes
56
Doctor Jokes
8
Dumb Criminals
52
Elderly Jokes
15
Entertainment Jokes
21
Family Jokes
11
Farmer Jokes
122
Fart Jokes
133
Food Jokes
6
Golf Jokes
118
Holiday Jokes
24
Insult Jokes
4
Judge Jokes
171
Kid Jokes
10
Knock Knock Jokes
18
Lawyer Jokes
7
Lightbulb Jokes
5
Little Johnny Jokes
10
Love Jokes
80
Marriage Jokes
6
Military Jokes
118
Misc Jokes
13
Money Jokes
23
Musician Jokes
43
National Jokes
5
News Jokes
3
Office Jokes
78
One Liner Jokes
2
Pickup Jokes
4
Pilot Jokes
18
Pirate Jokes
22
Police Jokes
46
Political Jokes
77
Pop Culture Jokes
6
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233
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11
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79
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58
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5
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31
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29
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4
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32
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17
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26
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23
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441
Word Play Jokes
63
Work Jokes
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