The Joker

Question 1

Mathematician Who Was Afraid Of Negatives Jokes

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negatives?

Question 2

Admit Your Faults

Some people won't admit their faults. I would if I had any.

Question 3

Scrabble Tiles Joke

Did you hear about the dog that ate the Scrabble tiles?

Question 4

How To Avoid A Shark Attack

I was watching a show called "Ten ways to avoid a shark attack". I was really surprised that "Stay out of the water" wasn't #1.

Question 5

Cremation Pun

Cremation is your last chance for a smoking hot body!

Question 6

Getting Lectured

89-year-old Bob was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. Bob replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Bob replied, "That would be my wife.

Question 7

Camping Sex

What is sex like when you're camping?

Question 8

What Did The Turkey Say To The Computer Joke

What did the turkey say to the computer?

Question 9

Laundry Joke

Laundry: Washing - 30 minutes, drying - 60 minutes, putting away - 7 to 10 business days.

Question 10

Nice Lawn Joke

I have a chicken-proof lawn... It's impeckable!

Question 11

Blood Pun

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.

Question 12

Dog With Rubber Leg Joke

Once there was a dog who had lost his back leg in an accident. This leg was replaced with a rubber one. Unfortunately, one day he started scratching all his body with the rubber leg, and he disappeared...

Question 13

How Many Feet In A Yard

How many feet are in a yard?

Question 14

Handy Man Joke

I hired a handy man and gave home a list of jobs to do. When I got home, only #1, #3 and #5 were done. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

Question 15

Insurance Policy Joke

I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my duvet is stolen in the middle of the night, I’m not covered.

Question 16

What Did Chris Rock Find On His Face After The Oscars?

What did Chris Rock find on his face after the Oscars?

Question 17

Stupid People Joke

Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the crap out of them until the light comes on!

Question 18

Blessed The Rains Joke

Hey, did you hear about the experiment where they blessed the rains down in Africa?

Question 19

Day After Easter Joke

What do you call the Easter Bunny the Monday after Easter?

Question 20

Logic In An Illogical World

Hostess: "Ok, I can seat you at this table right here (4 feet away), but I will need you to wear a mask to the table." Logical friend: "What happens when I get to the table?" Hostess: "You can take off the mask." Logical friend: "Then it is safe over there?" Hostess: "Yes." Logical friend: "Are those fans blowing above the table? Is that the air-conditioning I feel? Is the air circulating in here?" Hostess: No words. Confused look. Logical friend at a grocery store: "Why is there plastic on the payment keypad?" Cashier: "To protect people from Covid." Logical friend: "But isn't everyone touching the plastic keypad the same way they would the regular keypad?" Cashier: "No words. Confused look." Logical friend at drive-thru Server: (holds a tray out the window with a bag of food for logical friend to grab) Logical friend: "Why is my bag of food on a tray?" Server: "So I don't touch your food because of Covid." Logical friend: "Didn't the cook touch my food? Didn't the person wrapping my food touch it and then touch it again when placing it in my bag? Didn't you touch the bag and put it on the tray? Didn't you touch the tray?" Server: No words. Confused look. Life is hard for logical people right now. We are being raised without the ability to process and execute logic.

Question 21

Brunette Joke #5

Why don't brunettes get breast implants?

Question 22

Escaped Bunnies Joke

My kids were very upset when our bunnies escaped. They're too young to deal with hare loss.

Question 23

What Was Beethoven Favorite Fruit Joke

What was Beethoven favorite fruit?

Question 24

Wife's Driving Test Joke

My wife had her driving test today. She got eight out of ten. The other two jumped out of the way!

Question 25

Golden Rule

My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them!

Question 26

Tacos Vs Skinny Joke

If you had to choose between eating tacos everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life - would you choose hard or soft tacos?

Question 27

The Silent Treatment Joke

Wife: I'm not talking to you! Husband: OK. Wife: Don't you want to know the reason? Husband: No, I respect and trust your decision.

Question 28

Make A Pirate Mad Joke

How to you make a Pirate mad?

Question 29

A Maturing Joke

When does a joke become a dad joke?

Question 30

Comic Sans Joke

Comic sans implies the existence of tragic sans.

The Joker

Mathematician Who Was Afraid Of Negatives Jokes

Admit Your Faults

Scrabble Tiles Joke

How To Avoid A Shark Attack

Cremation Pun

Getting Lectured

Camping Sex

What Did The Turkey Say To The Computer Joke

Laundry Joke

Nice Lawn Joke

Blood Pun

Dog With Rubber Leg Joke

How Many Feet In A Yard

Handy Man Joke

Insurance Policy Joke

What Did Chris Rock Find On His Face After The Oscars?

Stupid People Joke

Blessed The Rains Joke

Day After Easter Joke

Logic In An Illogical World

Brunette Joke #5

Escaped Bunnies Joke

What Was Beethoven Favorite Fruit Joke

Wife's Driving Test Joke

Golden Rule

Tacos Vs Skinny Joke

The Silent Treatment Joke

Make A Pirate Mad Joke

A Maturing Joke

Comic Sans Joke

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