The Joker

Joke Count: 1233

A Pirate Goes To A Doctor

A pirate goes to the doctor's and says, "I have moles on my back!" The Doctor: "It’s ok, they're benign." Pirate: "Count again! I think there be ten!"

Demon Breakfast Joke

What do demons eat for breakfast?

Octopus Laugh Joke

How do you make an octopus laugh?

Golf And Sex

What do sex and golf have in common?

Rope Walks In Bar Pun

A piece of rope walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender tells him they don't serve string in his bar and to get out. The rope goes outside messes up his hair, ties himself up, and walks back into the bar. The bartender sees him and says "aren't you the rope that was just in here"? The rope responds "not me, I'm a frayed not".

King Pencil Joke

Who's the king of the pencil case?

Easter Bunny Hair Joke

How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur looking so good?

Dogs Like Cell Phone Joke

Why are dogs like cell phones?

Zombies New House Joke

Why didn't the zombie like his new house?

Soccer Joke

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport... I do it for the kicks!

Jack-o-lantern And A Pumpkin Joke

What did the Jack-O-Lantern say to the pumpkin?

Broken Tomato Joke

How do you fix a broken tomato?

Gang Of Ghosts Joke

What do you call a gang of ghosts?

Time Vs Money

The biggest difference between time and money: You always know how much money you have but you never know how much time you have.

Use Vodka To Clean House

Someone sent me an email about using vodka for cleaning around the house... it worked! The more vodka I drank, the cleaner the house looked.

Bra Joke

The biggest bra made for horses... Is the Z-bra!

Carpentry Pun

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it, but nobody saw it.

Social Distancing Pickup Lines

1) If COVID-19 doesn't take you out can I? 2) Is that hand sanitized in you pocket or are you just happy to be within 6ft. of me? 3) Since all the public libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead. 4) You can't spell virus without U and I. 5) Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because, I can be your Prince Charmin. 6) I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. 7) Without you my life is as empty as the supermarket shelf. 8) Hey Babe! Can I ship you a drink? 9) You can't spell quarantine without "U R A Q T". 10) I really can't stay. 11) Baby it's COVID-19 outside.

National Hot Dog Day Joke - Buddhist Pun

A Buddhist goes up to a hotdog vendor and says "make me one with everything".

Train Worker Struck By Lightning Joke

A train worker was struck by lightning... He was a great conductor!

Chemistry Joke

I like to tell chemistry jokes, but I never get a good reaction.

Lesbian And A Dinosaur

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a dinosaur?

Dancers Change A Light Bulb Joke

How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?

Gingerbread Man Bed Joke

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?

Stand In The Corner If You Get Cold Joke

Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?

Knock Knock Owl Joke

Knock, knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always love you!

Cookie Meat Joke

I tried Wookie meat... It was Chewy.

Mathematician Who Was Afraid Of Negatives Jokes

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negatives?

Mouse Shower Joke

How does a mouse feel after taking a shower?

When Do The Fish Bite?

Fish bite twice a day. Before you get there and after you leave.

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