The Joker

Question 1

Used Grapes Jokes

If you advertise used grapes... Is that raisin awareness?

Question 2

If You Love Someone Joke

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody else wanted them. Set them free again.

Question 3

Cookie Meat Joke

I tried Wookie meat... It was Chewy.

Question 4

Caveman Valentine’s Day

What does a caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Question 5

Admit Your Faults

Some people won't admit their faults. I would if I had any.

Question 6

Scrabble Tiles Joke

Did you hear about the dog that ate the Scrabble tiles?

Question 7

Cremation Pun

Cremation is your last chance for a smoking hot body!

Question 8

Pastry Chef Love Joke

Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?

Question 9

Camping Sex

What is sex like when you're camping?

Question 10

What Did The Turkey Say To The Computer Joke

What did the turkey say to the computer?

Question 11

Laundry Joke

Laundry: Washing - 30 minutes, drying - 60 minutes, putting away - 7 to 10 business days.

Question 12

Nice Lawn Joke

I have a chicken-proof lawn... It's impeckable!

Question 13

Blood Pun

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.

Question 14

How Many Feet In A Yard

How many feet are in a yard?

Question 15

Pregnancy Test

I was shopping in a large pharmacy and asked one of the wandering assistants, "Excuse me, where can I find a pregnancy test?" "No problem," he said. "They're right beside the condoms." I said, "Id I knew where the condoms were I wouldn't need a pregnancy test."

Question 16

A Scotsman And His Wife

A Scotsman and his wife walk past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It smells absolutely incredible!" Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the hell..., I'll treat her!" So, they walked past it again.

Question 17

Handy Man Joke

I hired a handy man and gave home a list of jobs to do. When I got home, only #1, #3 and #5 were done. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

Question 18

Insurance Policy Joke

I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my duvet is stolen in the middle of the night, I’m not covered.

Question 19

What Did Chris Rock Find On His Face After The Oscars?

What did Chris Rock find on his face after the Oscars?

Question 20

Stupid People Joke

Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the crap out of them until the light comes on!

Question 21

Day After Easter Joke

What do you call the Easter Bunny the Monday after Easter?

Question 22

Logic In An Illogical World

Hostess: "Ok, I can seat you at this table right here (4 feet away), but I will need you to wear a mask to the table." Logical friend: "What happens when I get to the table?" Hostess: "You can take off the mask." Logical friend: "Then it is safe over there?" Hostess: "Yes." Logical friend: "Are those fans blowing above the table? Is that the air-conditioning I feel? Is the air circulating in here?" Hostess: No words. Confused look. Logical friend at a grocery store: "Why is there plastic on the payment keypad?" Cashier: "To protect people from Covid." Logical friend: "But isn't everyone touching the plastic keypad the same way they would the regular keypad?" Cashier: "No words. Confused look." Logical friend at drive-thru Server: (holds a tray out the window with a bag of food for logical friend to grab) Logical friend: "Why is my bag of food on a tray?" Server: "So I don't touch your food because of Covid." Logical friend: "Didn't the cook touch my food? Didn't the person wrapping my food touch it and then touch it again when placing it in my bag? Didn't you touch the bag and put it on the tray? Didn't you touch the tray?" Server: No words. Confused look. Life is hard for logical people right now. We are being raised without the ability to process and execute logic.

Question 23

Left My Girlfriend Joke

I left my ex-girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting.....I wonder what she's up to now?

Question 24

Romantic Dinner

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman stared straight ahead. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman stared straight ahead. The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."

Question 25

Brunette Joke #5

Why don't brunettes get breast implants?

Question 26

Escaped Bunnies Joke

My kids were very upset when our bunnies escaped. They're too young to deal with hare loss.

Question 27

Athens Sunrise Pun

Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?

Question 28

Golden Rule

My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them!

Question 29

Tacos Vs Skinny Joke

If you had to choose between eating tacos everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life - would you choose hard or soft tacos?

Question 30

Men Are Like Shoe Laces

Men are like shoelaces, they go through many holes before they tie the knot.

The Joker

Used Grapes Jokes

If You Love Someone Joke

Cookie Meat Joke

Caveman Valentine’s Day

Admit Your Faults

Scrabble Tiles Joke

Cremation Pun

Pastry Chef Love Joke

Camping Sex

What Did The Turkey Say To The Computer Joke

Laundry Joke

Nice Lawn Joke

Blood Pun

How Many Feet In A Yard

Pregnancy Test

A Scotsman And His Wife

Handy Man Joke

Insurance Policy Joke

What Did Chris Rock Find On His Face After The Oscars?

Stupid People Joke

Day After Easter Joke

Logic In An Illogical World

Left My Girlfriend Joke

Romantic Dinner

Brunette Joke #5

Escaped Bunnies Joke

Athens Sunrise Pun

Golden Rule

Tacos Vs Skinny Joke

Men Are Like Shoe Laces

Joke Categories

SHARE THIS?

Newsletter

Contributors