The Joker

Question 1

Texas Capital

What is the capital of Texas?

Question 2

Vegetarian Chile Joke

My Child doesn't want to eat meat. What can I replace it with?

Question 3

Stimulus Check Joke

My farmer friend used his stimulus to buy baby chickens. He got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.

Question 4

EMT Joke

Why did the two EMT's travel together?

Question 5

Rabbit With Fleas Joke

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Question 6

Dogs Can't Read

Dogs can't read an MRI but CATScan!

Question 7

Brunette Joke #4

What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?

Question 8

Communist Joke

I prefer communist jokes because everyone gets them.

Question 9

Brunette Joke #2

What's a brunette's mating call?

Question 10

Unemployment Joke

I have a lot of unemployment jokes but none of them work.

Question 11

Karate Pig Joke

What do you call a pig that does karate?

Question 12

Boiling Water Obituary Joke

Rest in peace boiling water... You will be mist.

Question 13

Dropped Your Laundry Joke

My wife has just fallen over and dropped a basket full of freshly ironed clothes. I just sat back and watched it all unfold!

Question 14

Korean Martial Artist Joke

I once met a Korean martial artist who was giving away free chocolate bars. I asked him if I could take two. He said “No! You can Taekwondo.”

Question 15

Giving Up Drinking

I'm giving up drinking until this is over...

Question 16

What's The Difference Between Snow Men And Snow Women?

What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Question 17

Disable Autocorrect Joke

How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?

Question 18

How Does An Astronaut Cut His Hair On The Moon?

How does an astronaut cut his hair on the moon?

Question 19

Men Never Listen Joke

In a hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. The next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button. "The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow." "MEN NEVER LISTEN"

Question 20

Chewing Electric Cords Joke

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I grounded him. He's doing better currently. And conducting himself properly...

Question 21

Mark The Hunter

Mark was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex." After considering briefly, Mark decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Mark. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Mark soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Mark. That bear was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex." Again, Mark thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Mark. Although he survived, it took several months before Mark fully recovered. Now Mark was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it, Mark, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?

Question 22

Dirty Cockroach

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed down everything and cleaned thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Question 23

Flower Ride Its Bike Joke

Why couldn't the flower ride its bike?

Question 24

Stupid And Beautiful

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain... God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me... God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

Question 25

No House Numbers Joke

If your home doesn't have house numbers on it, you should address that!

Question 26

Mile Per Gallon Joke

The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 2.2 gallons of beer, which means the average human gets 41 miles per gallon!

Question 27

People Who Never Get Angry Joke

What kind of people never get angry?

Question 28

Elephant And Naked Man Joke

You hear what the elephant said to the naked man?

Question 29

Troubles To Bed

Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.

Question 30

Time Travel Joke

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke ...but you guys didn't like it.

The Joker

Texas Capital

Vegetarian Chile Joke

Stimulus Check Joke

EMT Joke

Rabbit With Fleas Joke

Dogs Can't Read

Brunette Joke #4

Communist Joke

Brunette Joke #2

Unemployment Joke

Karate Pig Joke

Boiling Water Obituary Joke

Dropped Your Laundry Joke

Korean Martial Artist Joke

Giving Up Drinking

What's The Difference Between Snow Men And Snow Women?

Disable Autocorrect Joke

How Does An Astronaut Cut His Hair On The Moon?

Men Never Listen Joke

Chewing Electric Cords Joke

Mark The Hunter

Dirty Cockroach

Flower Ride Its Bike Joke

Stupid And Beautiful

No House Numbers Joke

Mile Per Gallon Joke

People Who Never Get Angry Joke

Elephant And Naked Man Joke

Troubles To Bed

Time Travel Joke

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