The Joker

Question 1

Mile Per Gallon Joke

The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 2.2 gallons of beer, which means the average human gets 41 miles per gallon!

Question 2

People Who Never Get Angry Joke

What kind of people never get angry?

Question 3

An Elderly Couple Driving Across The Country Joke

Morty and Selma, an elderly couple, were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?" Selma, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" Morty yelled, "He says you were speeding!" The patrolman said, "May I see your license?" Selma turned to her husband once again and asked, "What did he say?" Morty yelled, "He wants to see your license!" Selma gave the officer her license. The patrolman then said, "I see you are from New York. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the most annoying woman I've ever met." Selma turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" Morty yells, "He said he thinks he knows you!"

Question 4

Fake Noodle Joke

What do you call a fake noodle?

Question 5

Potato Head Joke

No matter how bad your life is, just remember... There are people out there worried about the gender of a plastic potato.

Question 6

An Old Cowboy Bar Joke

An old cowboy goes into a bar and orders a drink. As he sits there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sits down next to him. She turns to the cowboy and asks him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replies, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am." She says, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women." A little while later, a couple sits down next to the old cowboy and asks him, "Are you a real cowboy? "He replies, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Question 7

Drinking Wine Joke

Put a glass of wine in each room of your house and call it a wine tour.

Question 8

Coke Vs. Deer Testicles Joke.

What’s the difference between a liter of Coke and deer testicles?

Question 9

Don't Trust Stairs Joke

I don't trust stairs... They're always up to something.

Question 10

Lose Weight Joke

I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep.

Question 11

Dad Stealing From His Job Joke

I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker... But when I got home all the signs were there!

Question 12

Moving Fast

As you get older, you've gotta stay positive. For example, the other day I fell down the stairs. Instead of getting upset, I just thought, "Wow, that's the fastest I've moved in years."

Question 13

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Question 14

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

I was accused of stealing a thesaurus. I was not only shocked but appalled, aghast, and dismayed.

Question 15

Grandpa's Pants

Grandpa, what are you doing on the porch with no pants on? Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.

Question 16

Hokey Pokey

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

Question 17

1080p Pun

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!

Question 18

Farmer Bury Money Joke

Why did the farmer bury his money?

Question 19

Sick Lemon Joke

What do you give a sick lemon?

Question 20

Wife Bra

I almost tripped over my wife’s bra the other day... I'm sure it was a booby trap.

Question 21

A Women Pleasure

Husband asked his wife, "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?" Wife, "Because I don't like calling you when you're at work."

Question 22

Cold Painter Joke

What does the painter do when he gets cold?

Question 23

Asphalt Pun

A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says "I'll take a beer ...and one for the road"

Question 24

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

Question 25

Hospital Joke

What part of the hospital has the least privacy?

Question 26

Going Deaf Joke

The Doc told me I was going deaf... It was hard to hear.

Question 27

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

My friend quit his job as manager of a muffler shop. Said he was tired of coming home every night exhausted.

Question 28

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Pat is at the airport with a sack over each shoulder. When he is stopped at customs they fin that both sacks are full of mobile phones. When asked why Pat said, "Well, while I was on my travels in America, I got a phone call from my mate Mick and he told me he was starting a Jazz band and could I bring him two saxophones."

Question 29

Girlfriends Eyebrows Joke

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!

Question 30

Never Tell A Lie Joke

A kid keeps lying to his father so the dad buys a lie detector robot who will slap him if he tells a lie. The next morning the father asks his son where he was the night before. "I was at Joeys house doing my homework" The robot slaps him. His dad says that was a lie and asks what was he really doing. The kid says "we were watching Toy Story" and he gets slapped again. When he asks again what were you really doing, the kid admits they were watching porn. "See when you tell the truth you won't get slapped". The dad then says "when we were kids we didn't even have porn" The robot then slaps the father. The mom laughs and says" well he is you kid after all". So the robot slaps the mom.

The Joker

Mile Per Gallon Joke

People Who Never Get Angry Joke

An Elderly Couple Driving Across The Country Joke

Fake Noodle Joke

Potato Head Joke

An Old Cowboy Bar Joke

Drinking Wine Joke

Coke Vs. Deer Testicles Joke.

Don't Trust Stairs Joke

Lose Weight Joke

Dad Stealing From His Job Joke

Moving Fast

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

Grandpa's Pants

Hokey Pokey

1080p Pun

Farmer Bury Money Joke

Sick Lemon Joke

Wife Bra

A Women Pleasure

Cold Painter Joke

Asphalt Pun

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Hospital Joke

Going Deaf Joke

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Girlfriends Eyebrows Joke

Never Tell A Lie Joke

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