The Joker

Question 1

Hard Tea Joke

Question 2

Korean Martial Artist Joke

I once met a Korean martial artist who was giving away free chocolate bars. I asked him if I could take two. He said “No! You can Taekwondo.”

Question 3

Two Lesbians In A Closet Joke

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

Question 4

Old Lady Joke

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

Question 5

Cops And Robbers Joke

George an 83-year-old man, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garage, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the garage stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is your garage detached from your house" and he said yes. Then they said that all patrols were busy and that he should simply go back into his house, lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my garage. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now cause I’ve just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes 6 police cars, a SWAT team, a helicopter, and an ambulance showed up at George's residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Question 6

Giving Up Drinking

I'm giving up drinking until this is over...

Question 7

Orchestra Got Electrocuted Joke

Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted?

Question 8

What's The Difference Between Snow Men And Snow Women?

What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Question 9

Disable Autocorrect Joke

How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?

Question 10

How Does An Astronaut Cut His Hair On The Moon?

How does an astronaut cut his hair on the moon?

Question 11

Chewing Electric Cords Joke

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I grounded him. He's doing better currently. And conducting himself properly...

Question 12

Mark The Hunter

Mark was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex." After considering briefly, Mark decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Mark. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Mark soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Mark. That bear was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex." Again, Mark thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Mark. Although he survived, it took several months before Mark fully recovered. Now Mark was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it, Mark, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?

Question 13

Say Grace

Does your family say a prayer before you eat food? Nope, we're Italian, my mom knows how to cook.

Question 14

Flower Ride Its Bike Joke

Why couldn't the flower ride its bike?

Question 15

No House Numbers Joke

If your home doesn't have house numbers on it, you should address that!

Question 16

Tree Scientist Joke

What do you call a tree that does science experiments?

Question 17

People Who Never Get Angry Joke

What kind of people never get angry?

Question 18

An Elderly Couple Driving Across The Country Joke

Morty and Selma, an elderly couple, were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?" Selma, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" Morty yelled, "He says you were speeding!" The patrolman said, "May I see your license?" Selma turned to her husband once again and asked, "What did he say?" Morty yelled, "He wants to see your license!" Selma gave the officer her license. The patrolman then said, "I see you are from New York. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the most annoying woman I've ever met." Selma turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" Morty yells, "He said he thinks he knows you!"

Question 19

Stunning Girlfriend Joke

The guy next to me on the train pointed to a photograph and said "This is my girlfriend, isn't she beautiful?" "If you think she is beautiful, you should see my wife," says I. "Why is she stunning?" "No, she's an optician!"

Question 20

Fake Noodle Joke

What do you call a fake noodle?

Question 21

Potato Head Joke

No matter how bad your life is, just remember... There are people out there worried about the gender of a plastic potato.

Question 22

An Old Cowboy Bar Joke

An old cowboy goes into a bar and orders a drink. As he sits there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sits down next to him. She turns to the cowboy and asks him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replies, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am." She says, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women." A little while later, a couple sits down next to the old cowboy and asks him, "Are you a real cowboy? "He replies, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Question 23

Milkless Cow

If a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an utter failure?

Question 24

Cross-Eyed Girl Joke

I dated a crosseyed girl but I just knew she was seeing someone on the side.

Question 25

Cow Toe Joke

Why do cows have hooves?

Question 26

Drinking Wine Joke

Put a glass of wine in each room of your house and call it a wine tour.

Question 27

Why Did The Thief Wear Blue Gloves?

Why did the thief wear blue gloves?

Question 28

Don't Trust Stairs Joke

I don't trust stairs... They're always up to something.

Question 29

Lose Weight Joke

I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep.

Question 30

Dad Stealing From His Job Joke

I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker... But when I got home all the signs were there!

The Joker

Hard Tea Joke

Korean Martial Artist Joke

Two Lesbians In A Closet Joke

Old Lady Joke

Cops And Robbers Joke

Giving Up Drinking

Orchestra Got Electrocuted Joke

What's The Difference Between Snow Men And Snow Women?

Disable Autocorrect Joke

How Does An Astronaut Cut His Hair On The Moon?

Chewing Electric Cords Joke

Mark The Hunter

Say Grace

Flower Ride Its Bike Joke

No House Numbers Joke

Tree Scientist Joke

People Who Never Get Angry Joke

An Elderly Couple Driving Across The Country Joke

Stunning Girlfriend Joke

Fake Noodle Joke

Potato Head Joke

An Old Cowboy Bar Joke

Milkless Cow

Cross-Eyed Girl Joke

Cow Toe Joke

Drinking Wine Joke

Why Did The Thief Wear Blue Gloves?

Don't Trust Stairs Joke

Lose Weight Joke

Dad Stealing From His Job Joke

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