Have you heard the latest rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
Apparently you can't use "Beefstew" as a password... It's not stroganoff.
What’s the name of the fattest knight at the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why couldn't the blind man see his friends?
Because he was married.
A man runs into the doctor's office screaming that he is shrinking. The doc says, "Calm down you just need to be a little patient."
How does a farmer find new cows to buy?
He looks through the cattle-log.
I just burnt this Hawaiian pizza. Guess I should have used aloha temperature.
Did you hear that there is a coin shortage?
America is officially out of common cents.
Why is water heavier than butane?
Because butane is a lighter fluid.
