What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Ham-boogers.

Dogs can't read an MRI but CATScan!

Did you know that people who have to wear glasses with their mask... may be entitled to condensation.

What is a gust of wind's favorite color?

Blew.

Did you hear that Jon Bon Jovi is on a strict fruit diet?

He's living on a pear.

What do you call a mama cow after it had its baby?

De-calf-inated.

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A Milkshake.

It shocks me how bad I am at electrical work around the house.

Hey, did you hear about the experiment where they blessed the rains down in Africa?

I heard it was a ToTo failure!

Why did the two EMT's travel together?

Because they were a pair-o-medics.

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