How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Why can't the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calculator?
Because she can't find the 10
What did the blonde teacher do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
She turned it over and used the other side.
What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
She peed on her corn flakes.
If you notice cows sleeping in a field, does that mean it's pasture bedtime?
What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
The teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner than they got the boots off he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
I found out that my grandpa is addicted to Viagra... no one is taking it harder than grandma!
I was drinking a margarita at a bar when a waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet!" and we all laughed and laughed. Well. except one guy.
