How does a farmer find new cows to buy?
He looks through the cattle-log.
I just burnt this Hawaiian pizza. Guess I should have used aloha temperature.
Did you hear that there is a coin shortage?
America is officially out of common cents.
Why is water heavier than butane?
Because butane is a lighter fluid.
Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water. I was like well damn.
I told my therapist that I couldn't get the Grease Soundtrack out of my head.
He said, "Tell me more."
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The abdominal snowman.
What do road crews use at the North Pole?
Snow Cones.
