Where does the Easter Bunny go for new tails?

To the retail store.

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Anyone driving slower than you - is an IDIOT. Anyone driving faster than you - is a MANIAC.

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My church organist has HOTS for me. She kept chasing me around the church, till she caught me by the ORGAN!

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How can you divide 12 in half and end up with 7?

You take Roman 12 - XII. You divide it in half HORIZONTALLY, and you get a 7...(Try it. :) )

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What did Chris Rock find on his face after the Oscars?

Fresh Prints!

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My father was GOP voter all his life, till he died. Then he started voting Democratic.

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A pessimist sees a 1/2 full glass, as half empty. An optimist sees it as half full. And an engineer sees it as twice as big as necessary.

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What did the big chimney say to the small one?

Your too young to smoke.

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Where did the Dog get his fleas?

The flea market.

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How many Hillbillies does it take to eat a possum?

Three. Two to hold back the traffic, one to eat the possum.

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