Why do Santa's helpers get depressed?
Low elf-esteem!
What do they sing to Christmas trees at the retirement parties?
Fir he's a jolly good fellow...
What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
Saint Nickel-less!
Why did the pencil go to the party?
Because it wanted to draw some attention!!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling well!
Why don't oysters donate to charity?
Because they're shellfish!!!
Why was the belt arrested?
Because it held up a pair of pants!
What did the Jewish bartender do when he ran out of beer?
He-brews it.
Whats the difference between men and a door?
Women would rather open a door.
