USER JOKES INDEX

Why are sandals so indecisive?

Why did the vegetable call a plumber?

How do you get a farm girls attention?

I was accused of stealing a thesaurus. I was not only shocked but appalled, aghast, and dismayed.

What do you call dogs that rarely bark?

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the School?

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. "Is everything ok, pal? the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight and she isn't talking to me for a month!" Trying to put a positive spin on things the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know... a little peace and quiet?" The guy replies, "Yeah, but today is the last day!"

My friend has a trophy wife... Apparently, he didn't get first place.

I just ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles accidentally... My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

What part of a museum has the most allergies?