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WARNING! When hiking, please take precaution and affix little bells to clothing to avoid surprising a bear. You are further advised to carry pepper spray in case of a bear encounter. Be vigilant and know the difference between bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear feces has bells in it and smells like pepper.
WARNING!
When hiking, please take precaution and affix little bells to clothing to avoid surprising a bear. You are further advised to carry pepper spray in case of a bear encounter. Be vigilant and know the difference between bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear feces has bells in it and smells like pepper.
How do you light up a soccer stadium?
With a soccer match!
What do you call a moose with no name?
Anony-moose! (Anonymous)
Why did King Von always carry a pen?
Because he was always ready to "write" his crazy story!
What does a German say when he sneezes?
A jew! (A-choo).
What do you call a blind german?
A nazi! (Not See)
What do you get when you cross a shark with a skunk?
As far away as possible.
POV: You're a cop and your partner's name is Phil. You just watched a woman commit a crime on the senate floor, "Phil Uhhhh Bust Her." (Filabuster)
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're ALL dead.
I'm now at the age when "Picking up a hottie" means buying a rotisserie chicken at Costco.
