What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?

Traffic jam.

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke ...but you guys didn't like it.

What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?

The space bar.

I've been diagnosed with Kleptomania... but I'm taking something for it!

You hear what the elephant said to the naked man?

He said, "How do you breathe through something so small?"

September 22nd is National Elephant Appreciation Day.

What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry?

58.

Why was the picture frame sent to jail?

Because it was framed.

What kind of people never get angry?

Nomads!

What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

A towel.

My earliest childhood memory was getting my first pair of glasses... Life before that was a blur.

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