Why are pigs bad drivers?
They are all road hogs!
What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar!
Did you hear about the pig with laryngitis?
He was disgruntled!
What do you call two pigs playing tug of war?
Pulled Pork!
What do you call an old apple?
Granny Smith!
What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A synonym roll!
What did the cold book do?
It put on a jacket!
What did the alien in the garden say?
Take me you your weeder!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
Why did the pig have ink all over his face?
Because it came out of the pen.