Why are pigs bad drivers?

They are all road hogs!

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What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar!

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Did you hear about the pig with laryngitis?

He was disgruntled!

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What do you call two pigs playing tug of war?

Pulled Pork!

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What do you call an old apple?

Granny Smith!

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What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?

A synonym roll!

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What did the cold book do?

It put on a jacket!

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What did the alien in the garden say?

Take me you your weeder!

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How do you make an octopus laugh?

With ten-tickles!

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Why did the pig have ink all over his face?

Because it came out of the pen.

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