Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

For being "out standing" in his field!

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What is the safest room in a haunted house?

The living room!

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I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it, but nobody saw it.

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What do you call a trendy pig?

Calvin Swine!

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How do you get a mouse to smile?

Say cheese!

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What is a livestock's favorite math tool?

A Cow-culator?

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

He had no "body" to go with!

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What does the painter do when he gets cold?

He puts on another coat!

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How do you fix a broken tomato?

With tomato paste!

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What’s a pig’s favourite Shakespeare play?

Hamlet!

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