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My neighbor told me he is a vegetarian... I told him I thought that was a big missed steak.
I’ve started my new job at the toy warehouse. There are only two of us that work on a production line for Dracula figures. I have to make every second count.
If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Comic sans implies the existence of tragic sans.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi?
How to you make a Pirate mad?
Take away the "P".
I saw a 2000 years old stain... It was from ancient greece.
Yo momma so ugly, the whole world faked a virus just to make her wear a mask!
I Called my work this morning and said, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough." He said, "You have a wee cough?" I said, "Really, Thanks boss, see you next week!"
Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted?
They're blaming the conductor.