The Joker

Joke Count: 1231

Can't Fart Joke

I'd tell you a fart joke... But I've run out of gas.

A Mexican Magician Joke

A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of 3. He said uno, dos, and poof he disappeared without a tres!

Cat Vs Comma Joke

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

Pirates Birthday

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Do You Think You're Stupid?

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psycology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid stand up!" After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Wife's Birthday?

My wife said I ruined her birthday! That's ridiculous! I didn't even know it was her Birthday?

Addicted To Seaweed Joke

What do you do if you're addicted to seaweed?

Computer Hero Joke

What do you call a computer hero?

Yo Momma So Ugly...

Yo momma so ugly, the whole world faked a virus just to make her wear a mask!

Horses Vs Cars Joke

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.

Winter Is Coming

We're expecting such a cold winter, the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far, 3 of my relatives have disappeared.

Never Trust Atoms

Why should you never trust Atoms?

Snow Men Vs Snow Women Joke

What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Calendar Factory Joke

I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I should have never taken a couple days off.

Where Does Poo Come From?

My son asked me "Where does poo come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation. He looked at me a little perplexed and stared at me in silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"

Make Yourself At Home

When I go to someone else's house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.

Diet Donuts

I ate a donut without sprinkles... Diets are so hard!

I Just Ate A Bunch Of Scrabble Tiles Joke

I just ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles accidentally... My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

Hamberger's Girlfriend

How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Glass Coffins

Will glass coffins become popular? Remains to be seen.

Roman Numerals

A Roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter, "five beers, please."

Hearing Aid Joke

Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aids in for repair... I've heard nothing since.

Pooped On

If a bird craps on your head, try to think positively. At least cows don't fly!

Pencil Pun

Broken pencils are pointless.

Dear Santa Joke

Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

Ghost Day Car Joke

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Day 9 - Social Distancing

Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems he's a web designer.

104 Years Old

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked... She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

Fly Spray

Bought a can of fly spray. Sprayed it all over me. I still can't fly.

Healthy Salad

I heard the more colorful your salad is, the better it is for you. So, I swapped my croutons for M&M's

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