The Joke of the Day jokes are hand selected by the staff at Fart.com and featured for your enjoyment. We only select the best jokes so you don't have to waist time sorting through thousands of classic jokes.
I went outside to check on my plants. I felt something cold and wet on my arm. I looked down and say a mosquito using a wet wipe before it bit me!
Astronomy is looking up.
What Happens when you fart in church?
You sit in your own pew.
A teacher is telling her class she has two words that will not be allowed to use. "There are two words which I will never let you use. One is gross and the other is cool". Student: "So what are the words?"
Did you see that movie about the pirate? It's rated Arrr!
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean? I'm fine." "What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannonball hit my leg but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands." "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," said the bartender, "What about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes." "One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye." "You're kidding," said the bartender, "You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird crap!" "Well, I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
If you had to choose between eating tacos everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life - would you choose hard or soft tacos?
I used to be a people person... but people ruined that for me!
A corporation is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but a$$holes!
I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like.
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