The Joke of the Day jokes are hand selected by the staff at Fart.com and featured for your enjoyment.  We only select the best jokes so you don't have to waist time sorting through thousands of classic jokes.

Why do cows wear bells?

In case their horns don't work.

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Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

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What did one virus say to the other virus?

Keep away from me, I think I've got penicillin!

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Some People aren't shaking hands because of the Coronavirus. I'm not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper!

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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!

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I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness' but it doesn't work.

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What does the dentist of the year get?

A little plaque.

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Where can you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left it.

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A young brunette goes into the doctors office and says that her body hurts whever she touches it. "Impossible", says the doctor. "show me". She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, she pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches make her scream. The doctor says, "Your not really a brunette, are you?" No, im a blonde, she says. "I though so", he says. "Your finger is broken."

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

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