JOKE OF THE DAY INDEX

Joke: A man's wife was in labor with their first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly the man's wife began to shout, "Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!!" The man said, "Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?" The doctor replied, "Nothing. She's just having contractions."

Joke: How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Joke: In-dis-tinct: Where one places dirty dishes (in the sink).

Joke: Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

Joke: My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them!

Joke: Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Joke: If you boil a funny bone, it's a laughing stock, that's humerous!

Joke: If you smoke weed, you get high. If you read books, you get educated. If you do both, you get highly educated.

Joke: When a women found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes," he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it Quits."

Joke: A little boy had just got home from Sunday School and mom was cooking lunch. "Mommy, is it true that before you're born you're just dust and after you die you go back to being dust?" "That's right son, why?" "Well that's just what they said at church today." "Run up stairs and wash your hands son, lunch will be ready in a few minutes." About 10 minutes went by and she called out for him to come down. "I'll be there in a minute." As they were about to sit down at the table, the little boy asked again about being dust before being born and after you die. Once again mother said yes son. The little boy looked at her and said, "Then you better get up to my room pretty quick, because something under my bed is either coming or going!"