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How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it has never happened.
A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but when he went to wipe his bum, there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class, his teacher asked him what he had in his hands. "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away," the boy said. He was then sent to the principal's office and the principal asked him what he had in his hands. "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." He was sent home and his mom asked him what he had in his hands. "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked him what he had in his hands. "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!" "Look, Dad. You scared the crap out of him."
What do the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle around Uranus searching for Klingons!
I hear there's now a sine flu as well. Someone on the news was going off on a tangent about it.
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus were invited to a party. On the way, the dumb blonde's car broke down. The smart blonde missed the bus. Two of Santa Claus' reindeer ran away. Who got to the party first?
The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist!
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Never hold in your farts. They travel up your spine into your brain... and that's where crappy ideas come from.
If you ever fart in public, just yell, "Turbo power!" and walk faster.
Chuck Norris farted once. He did it in the Sahara forest.
I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said "Come on, buddy, how about giving me a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes; the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.