The Joker

Joke Count: 1231

Can't Fart Joke

I'd tell you a fart joke... But I've run out of gas.

A Mexican Magician Joke

A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of 3. He said uno, dos, and poof he disappeared without a tres!

Cat Vs Comma Joke

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

Pirates Birthday

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Wife's Birthday?

My wife said I ruined her birthday! That's ridiculous! I didn't even know it was her Birthday?

Do You Think You're Stupid?

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psycology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid stand up!" After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Addicted To Seaweed Joke

What do you do if you're addicted to seaweed?

Horses Vs Cars Joke

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.

Yo Momma So Ugly...

Yo momma so ugly, the whole world faked a virus just to make her wear a mask!

Computer Hero Joke

What do you call a computer hero?

Snow Men Vs Snow Women Joke

What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Calendar Factory Joke

I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I should have never taken a couple days off.

Never Trust Atoms

Why should you never trust Atoms?

Winter Is Coming

We're expecting such a cold winter, the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far, 3 of my relatives have disappeared.

The Worlds Shortest Fairytale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "No!" And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played a lot of golf, and drank beer and whiskey, and had loads of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up, and farted whenever he wanted. The End.

Make Yourself At Home

When I go to someone else's house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.

Diet Donuts

I ate a donut without sprinkles... Diets are so hard!

Begger

A man at the gas station asked me for a dollar. I told him I only carry big bills. He said give me one of those. So, I gave him my electric bill.

Pencil Pun

Broken pencils are pointless.

I Just Ate A Bunch Of Scrabble Tiles Joke

I just ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles accidentally... My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

Glass Coffins

Will glass coffins become popular? Remains to be seen.

Where Does Poo Come From?

My son asked me "Where does poo come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation. He looked at me a little perplexed and stared at me in silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"

Hamberger's Girlfriend

How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Dear Santa Joke

Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

Roman Numerals

A Roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter, "five beers, please."

104 Years Old

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked... She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

Hearing Aid Joke

Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aids in for repair... I've heard nothing since.

Stolen Credit Card

Police, "Why didn't you report your credit card stolen?" Man, "The thief was spending less than my wife."

Fly Spray

Bought a can of fly spray. Sprayed it all over me. I still can't fly.

Russian Roulette Joke

Five out of six people say Russian Roulette is safe.

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