I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong!

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Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

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We are born naked, wet, and hungry... Then things get worse.

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If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

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Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

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Grandchildren are spoiled because you can't spank Grandma!

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I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.

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Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

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My computer doesn't understand me!

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Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

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