Google must be a woman because it knows everything!

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A woman sued a Hospital stating that after a recent treatment her husband had lost all interest in sex. The Hospital in their defense stated... "All we did was correct his eyesight!"

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I never really believed in Santa, always was a rebel without a claus.

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A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one.

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Why do women have small feet?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

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I don't mean to brag but cashiers are always checking me out.

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If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

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Some days you're the Dog, & Some days you're the Hydrant.

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What is the #1 cause of divorce?

Marriage.

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