Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.

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Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.

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Where does Santa go after Christmas to relax?

Santa Cruz.

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Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.

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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

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The religious right is neither.

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Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!

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If all else fails... lower your standards.

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Santa's been reading your posts all year... Most of you are getting dictionaries for Christmas.

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Santa got stuck in a chimney a few years back? Now he gets Claustrophobia.

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