The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

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The religious right is neither.

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Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!

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If all else fails... lower your standards.

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Santa's been reading your posts all year... Most of you are getting dictionaries for Christmas.

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Santa got stuck in a chimney a few years back? Now he gets Claustrophobia.

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Did you hear Christmas has been canceled? Apparently, Santa is in jail. He was caught last year laying a doll under a tree.

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What do Christmas and crabs have in common?

Sandy Claws.

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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

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A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail.

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