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I told my son he couldn't watch the orchestra anymore and he asked why? Because there's too much sax and violins!
Poop jokes aren't my favorite kind of jokes, but they are a solid number two.
My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes...it Taurus apart.
I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.
My brother mounted a dartboard on the ceiling of his man cave. This made me throw up.
Did you hear about the Super Hero with a lisp that always works out?
He’s Thor.
Would February March?
No, but April May.
I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there. He said Narnia business.
I just removed all the German contacts from my cell phone. It's now Hans free!
I yelled into a colander while cooking... now my voice is strained.