I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend... Love meant nothing to her!
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the well? It turns out he couldn't see that well.
There is a thin line between a numerator and a denominator... And only a fraction of people can understand that.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're shellfish (slefish) creatures.
My wife asked me to clear the dining table...I had to get a running start but I made it!
Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!
