What do you get if you eat onions on your beans?
Tear gas.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in a pot of boiling water?
Stu.
How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five! ... Six! ... Seven! ... Eight!
Why aren't dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it.
Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?
It was a shih tzu.
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A Navi-gator.
What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.
Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert?
Because he was stuffed!
