If your home doesn't have house numbers on it, you should address that!
Why couldn't the flower ride its bike?
Because, it lost all it's petals.
When I was young, air at gas stations was free. Now they charge $1.50... That's inflation for you!
What do you call a couple who share an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates.
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink. "It's a pleasure to serve you Mr. Hasselhoff," said the bartender. "Just call me Hoff," the actor replied. "Sure," the bartender said, "no hassle."
How do we know that trees poop?
Because there are number 2 pencils.
My neighbor told me he is a vegetarian... I told him I thought that was a big missed steak.
I’ve started my new job at the toy warehouse. There are only two of us that work on a production line for Dracula figures. I have to make every second count.
If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
