What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
Bacon and legs.
I heard some guys talking about you yesterday. One said that you weren't fit to sleep with pigs, but I stuck up for you; I said you were!
What do you call a tree that does science experiments?
Chemistree.
Why is "dark" spelled with a "K" and not a "C"?
Because you can’t "C" in the dark!
If your home doesn't have house numbers on it, you should address that!
Why couldn't the flower ride its bike?
Because, it lost all it's petals.
When I was young, air at gas stations was free. Now they charge $1.50... That's inflation for you!
What do you call a couple who share an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates.
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink. "It's a pleasure to serve you Mr. Hasselhoff," said the bartender. "Just call me Hoff," the actor replied. "Sure," the bartender said, "no hassle."
