What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?

Traffic jam.

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I was going to tell a time-traveling joke ...but you guys didn't like it.

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What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?

The space bar.

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I've been diagnosed with Kleptomania... but I'm taking something for it!

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You hear what the elephant said to the naked man?

He said, "How do you breathe through something so small?"

September 22nd is National Elephant Appreciation Day.

 

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What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry?

58.

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Why was the picture frame sent to jail?

Because it was framed.

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What kind of people never get angry?

Nomads!

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What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

A towel.

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My earliest childhood memory was getting my first pair of glasses... Life before that was a blur.

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