Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted?
They're blaming the conductor.
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too, especially chicken, pork, and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...
Did 3 laps around the gym today... Couldn't find a parking spot so I went home.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a canary?
I don't know but, when it sits on the electric wires and sings, all your lights go out!
Why did the girl pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a real boar!
What do you call a pig that plays basketball?
A ball hog.
Why did the pig stand in the middle of the road?
Because he was sooeecidal.
If a pig loses his voice, does that mean he's disgruntled?
