What’s faster hot or cold?
Hot, because everyone catches a cold.
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer!
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?
She is going to have her baby in the spring!
Why are tigers Christians?
Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?
Because she told him to go out and get her a baby monitor.
A banker gets into a car accident. He was driving his Ferrari, stopped, opened his door, and another car zoomed by, hit and ripped off the door. The banker jumps out of the car and shouts, "My Ferrari! My Ferrari!" A man is passing by and notes, "You bankers. You're all about money. You're worried about your Ferrari and not even noticing that your arm was ripped off along with that door." The banker looks at his missing arm and shouts, "My Rolex! My Rolex!!"
