USER JOKES INDEX

I finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: On the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn't! It just craps on the floor.

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and and screams at the librarian, "This is the worst book I've ever read! It has no plot and far to many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarked, "So, you're the one who took out phone book!"

The Philosopher Plato once said... "I am the wisest man alive for I know one thing... and that one thing is that I know nothing." How did he know that? His wife told him.

I had a happy childhood; Dad would roll me down the hill in a tire. Those were Goodyears.

Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aids in for repair... I've heard nothing since.

We all know that mirrors don't lie... I'm just grateful they don't laugh!

I don't mind getting older... But my body is taking it badly!

I'm thinking about taking the wine box back to complain. It said once opened it would last 6 weeks, it only lasted me 3 hours!

This is the first year I'm not going to Fiji due to COVID-19. I usually don't go because I'm poor!