USER JOKES INDEX

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and and screams at the librarian, "This is the worst book I've ever read! It has no plot and far to many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarked, "So, you're the one who took out phone book!"

The Philosopher Plato once said... "I am the wisest man alive for I know one thing... and that one thing is that I know nothing." How did he know that? His wife told him.

I had a happy childhood; Dad would roll me down the hill in a tire. Those were Goodyears.

Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aids in for repair... I've heard nothing since.

We all know that mirrors don't lie... I'm just grateful they don't laugh!

I don't mind getting older... But my body is taking it badly!

I'm thinking about the wine box back to complain. It said once opened it would last 6 weeks, it only lasted me 3 hours!

This is the first year I'm not going to Fiji due to COVID-19. I usually don't go because I'm poor!

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia, and learned that if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya.

A neighbor suggested I put manure on my strawberries. Tasted horrible! I'm sticking with whipped cream!