How far can you run in the woods?

Halfway. If you go in any further, you’d be running out of the woods.

A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her?

It was a bright sunny day!

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of Chapstick She’s still not talking to me!

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Where do you take someone when they've been in a peek-a-boo accident?

The I.C.U.

I like to tell chemistry jokes, but I never get a good reaction.

Why did the bicycle collapse?

Because it was two tired.

Thinking a face mask is going to stop Corona Virus is like thinking you underwear will stop a fart.

Hey, did you hear about the actress Reese... something, who commited suicide?

Reese Witherspoon? No, with her knife!

I went to the psychiatrist today. She told me I have a split personality and charged me $160.

I gave her $80 and told her to get the rest from the other idiot.

USER JOKES INDEX