I'm thinking about the wine box back to complain. It said once opened it would last 6 weeks, it only lasted me 3 hours!

VOTE
SHARE

This is the first year I'm not going to Fiji due to COVID-19. I usually don't go because I'm poor!

VOTE
SHARE

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia, and learned that if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya.

VOTE
SHARE

A neighbor suggested I put manure on my strawberries. Tasted horrible! I'm sticking with whipped cream!

VOTE
SHARE

This was a terrible day. First my ex-wife got hit by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver.

VOTE
SHARE

Guys I need your help... I'm in the middle of an argument with my wife and she just told me that I'm right. What the hell do I do next?!

VOTE
SHARE

Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

VOTE
SHARE

Mummy, mummy. There's a man at the door with a bill.

Don't be silly dear, it's probably just a duck with a hat on.

VOTE
SHARE

Why is Yoda such a good gardener?

Because he has green thumbs!

VOTE
SHARE

What follows a dog where ever it goes?

It's tail.

VOTE
SHARE