USER JOKES INDEX

Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes first. That way if you do criticize them you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

I used to have a girlfriend who made her own booze. I knew the relationship wouldn’t last but I really miss her still.

I was kicked out of my cooking class for stealing. I still think it was a whisk worth taking.

Last night dreamt I was eating giant marshmallows. When I woke up this morning my pillows were gone.

What’s the difference between a liter of Coke and deer testicles?

Why do cows have hooves?

I dated a crosseyed girl but I just knew she was seeing someone on the side.

The graveyard service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

There's nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul. Even if it's cold, over ice, with a celery stock... and vodka.

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed and we're having a staff meeting.