Two, not very bright, pilots come in for a landing when the pilot has to slam on the brakes. Captain Bill looks over at Roger the co-pilot and says, "Damn that is the shortest runway we have ever landed on!" Roger takes a long look left, then a long look right and replies, "Yeah but look how wide it is!"
I bought a book on anti-gravity and just can't seem to put it down.
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I should have never taken a couple days off.
A friend kept telling me how immature I am so I told him to get out of my fort.
My friend keeps telling me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I guess I'm just going to have to put my foot down.
Sad news today, the guy that invented the boomerang hand grenade died yesterday during product testing.
My friend is changing his bands name to 999 Megabytes because they never got a gig.
Confucius say man who walks around with hands in pocket all day long feels cocky.
A dog walks into a bar in the old west days and ends up in a fight. They go out in the street and in a shootout he gets his gun shot out of his hand. He comes back into the saloon the next day with his gun strapped on the other side and says .."I want to see the son of a bitch that shot my paw?"
Whenever I'm sitting on a bench all by myself and someone I don't know sits beside me I just look straight forward and ask, "Did you bring the money?"
