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They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
When chemists die, they barium.
What is a pirates favorite fast food place?
ARRRRRRRRRRBYYYYYYYYYYS.
I'm on the tequila diet. So far I've lost 2 days.
Laundry: Washing - 30 minutes, drying - 60 minutes, putting away - 7 to 10 business days.