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A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
When chemists die, they barium.
What is a pirates favorite fast food place?
ARRRRRRRRRRBYYYYYYYYYYS.
I'm on the tequila diet. So far I've lost 2 days.
Laundry: Washing - 30 minutes, drying - 60 minutes, putting away - 7 to 10 business days.
Lazy is a very strong word. I like to call it "Selective Participation".
Someone asked me what to do with leftover bacon. I've never heard of that kind of bacon.
A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Shot my first turkey today. Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!