Little old lady calls the fire department, screams, come quick, my house is on fire! Man says, how do we get there? She says, don't y'all still have those big red trucks?
A salesman was going door to door trying to sell his wares. As he walked up to the next house, he noticed a small boy sitting on the front steps. "Is your mother home?" the salesman asked the small boy. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still, no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home?!" The kid replied, "She is, but this isn't where I live."
Clocks are supposed to fall back on Nov. 1st. Think I'll set mine forward at least two months because nobody wants to fall back in 2020.
There are two ways to argue with a woman... Neither one of them works.
What is the difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man arguing with his wife?
The man buying the lottery ticket actually has a chance to win.
My friend composes songs about sewing machines. He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?
Because Dawn is tough on Greece.
Once there were three friends, None, Someone, and Mad. One day they went to a park and suddenly None started fighting with Someone. Mad didn't know what to do so he called the near security guard. He said, "Security, None is fighting with Someone! ".The security look t him surprisingly and said, "Are you mad?". Then Mad said, "Yes, I am Mad." Then the security took Mad to the police station and None and Someone kept fighting.
What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.
