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A Scotsman and his wife walk past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It smells absolutely incredible!" Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the hell..., I'll treat her!" So, they walked past it again.
What does a clock do when it gets hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Broken pencils are pointless.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A Thesaurus.
How do you make holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Energizer bunny arrested: Charged with battery.
Class trip to Coca-Cola. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Why were the Indians here first?
They had reservations.
