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A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one.
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
I don't mean to brag but cashiers are always checking me out.
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
Some days you're the Dog, & Some days you're the Hydrant.
What is the #1 cause of divorce?
Marriage.
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
Where does Santa go after Christmas to relax?
Santa Cruz.
