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Where do football players go to get a new uniform?
New Jersey.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
Did you hear about the weasel that walked into a bar in Minnesota? The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel!
Have you heard the latest rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
Apparently you can't use "Beefstew" as a password... It's not stroganoff.
What’s the name of the fattest knight at the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why couldn't the blind man see his friends?
Because he was married.
My friend David lost his id, we now call him Dav.
A man runs into the doctor's office screaming that he is shrinking. The doc says, "Calm down you just need to be a little patient."
How does a farmer find new cows to buy?
He looks through the cattle-log.
