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What did the upset toast say about my compliments?
Don't butter me up.
Saturday and Sunday's are the strongest days... all the rest are weak days!
What do kangaroos wear to work?
Jump suits.
The Doc told me I was going deaf... It was hard to hear.
I had to fire the guy who cut my lawn... He just didn't cut it!
Did you know that in Hawaii, it’s actually illegal to laugh loudly?
You have to keep it to A-Lo-Ha!
Do cannabis farmers use weed killer?
What should you do with all your spare umbrellas?
Save them for a rainy day!
Midwives deserve a lot of respect... They really help people out!
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don’t open it... It's Spam!