I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my duvet is stolen in the middle of the night, I’m not covered.
Has anyone else used WD40 to get rid of mice?
It doesn’t work but it stops them squeaking.
Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ”Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ”Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.” A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.” Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear……I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.”
My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk.
I never finish anything... I have a black belt in partial arts.
Be careful when you eat at Sam and Ella's diner.
I hired a handy man and gave home a list of jobs to do. When I got home, only #1, #3 and #5 were done. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
