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The police asked where I was between 5 and 6.. so I told them nursery school.
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "No!" And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played a lot of golf, and drank beer and whiskey, and had loads of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up, and farted whenever he wanted. The End.
Five out of six people say Russian Roulette is safe.
Two, not very bright, pilots come in for a landing when the pilot has to slam on the brakes. Captain Bill looks over at Roger the co-pilot and says, "Damn that is the shortest runway we have ever landed on!" Roger takes a long look left, then a long look right and replies, "Yeah but look how wide it is!"
I bought a book on anti-gravity and just can't seem to put it down.
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I should have never taken a couple days off.
A friend kept telling me how immature I am so I told him to get out of my fort.
My friend keeps telling me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I guess I'm just going to have to put my foot down.
Sad news today, the guy that invented the boomerang hand grenade died yesterday during product testing.
My friend is changing his bands name to 999 Megabytes because they never got a gig.
