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2 atoms were walking down the street. One said to the other; "I just lost an electron!"..-"Are you sure?" asked the other. "Yes!. I`m POSITIVE!".
My doctor told me he`ll have me walking in 7 days...
And he did. I had to sell my car to pay his bill.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of 3. He said uno, dos, and poof he disappeared without a tres!
Why does a fart smell?
So that even the deaf can enjoy it!
The only art coming out of you is in a fart!
What kind of cars do cats drive?
Fur-arris!
What did the dog say to the tree?
Bark!
What do you call a cat caught by the police?
A purr-petrator!
Why do male dogs float in water?
Because they are good buoys!
What's a snake favorite school subject?
Hiss-tory!