JOKES INDEX

Joke: The police arrested two kids on the 4th of July, one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. What did the police do?

Joke: This girl said she recognized me from some vegan restaurant but I knew I'd never met herbivore.

Joke: A group of baboons is called a congress. (that is the joke)

Joke: "Don't believe everything you read on the internet" Leonardo da Vinci

Joke: A Native American goes to see a psychiatrist about some bad dreams he is having. The psychiatrist asks him to describe his nightmares and he said they are always about either wigwams or teepees. The doctor tells him he is obviously two tense.

Joke: What did one hat say to the other hat?

Joke: A lady goes to her dermatologist and he tells her to take milk baths for her skin condition. She goes to the grocery store and when an employee asks her if she needs help she explains that she needs enough milk to take a bath. The employee asked her if she wants pasteurized and she replies "no up to my shoulders should be fine".

Joke: A snail gets mugged by a couple turtles and when the cops asked him for a description of the turtles he told them "I don't know, it all happened so fast"

Joke: The Pope lands in New York and the limo driver tells him that they are running early if he would like to do anything before he needs to be dropped off. The Pope says he has never driven a limo and asked if he could take drive the limo. He ends up getting pulled over on the freeway so the cop who pulls him over radios back to the station and asks for the Sargent. He tells him I can't give this guy a ticket?" The Sargent gets mad and tells the officer that he doesn't care who he is just give him the ticket! "I seriously CAN NOT give him a ticket as he is WAY TOO IMPORTANT!" "So who is this guy anyway?" the Sargent asks and the cop answers "I have no idea sir but he is SO IMPORTANT THAT THE POPE IS DRIVING HIM!

Joke: Two antennas got married yesterday. The wedding was just ok but the reception was really good.