JOKES INDEX

Joke: I have a fear of speed bumps... I'm slowly getting over it.

Joke: If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed and we're having a staff meeting.

Joke: There's nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul. Even if it's cold, over ice, with a celery stock... and vodka.

Joke: The graveyard service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

Joke: An old cowboy goes into a bar and orders a drink. As he sits there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sits down next to him. She turns to the cowboy and asks him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replies, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am." She says, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women." A little while later, a couple sits down next to the old cowboy and asks him, "Are you a real cowboy? "He replies, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Joke: I dated a crosseyed girl but I just knew she was seeing someone on the side.

Joke: Why do cows have hooves?

Joke: What’s the difference between a liter of Coke and deer testicles?

Joke: Last night dreamt I was eating giant marshmallows. When I woke up this morning my pillows were gone.

Joke: I was kicked out of my cooking class for stealing. I still think it was a whisk worth taking.