JOKES INDEX

Joke: Can you tie a knot? "I cannot." "So can you tie a knot?" "No, I cannot knot." "Not knot?" "Who's there?"

Joke: When chimney sweeps dress in the morning, are they "Sooting up?"

Joke: I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars. "Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For What?" "To buy groceries," I told him. "When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me a dollar, just one dollar, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, and can of coffee and a box of tea." He shrugged and paused. "Times have changed and you can't do that now," he told me. "Too many security cameras."

Joke: If you go Skydiving, and your parachute fails, you have the rest of your life to try to fix it.

Joke: If it's not yours, don't take it. If it's not true, don't say it. If it's not right, don't do it.

Joke: Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Joke: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Joke: A man goes to the Optician for his eye test. The Optician asks him what he can see. "I see empty airports, empty football stadiums, closed theaters, and closed pubs." "That's perfect," says the Optician. "You've got 2020 vision!"

Joke: Why does a Rooster crow so early in the morning?

Joke: Why did Beethoven get rid of all his chickens?