Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!

The religious right is neither.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.

What is the #1 cause of divorce?

Some days you're the Dog, & Some days you're the Hydrant.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I don't mean to brag but cashiers are always checking me out.

JOKES INDEX